February 6
I’m
in Sandra’s car again with Sandra, Delia, and Morgan. We’re going to some Rose youth group bible
study thing…no idea what it is. Sandra
won’t tell me. Both of them—Delia and
Sandra, I mean—are being particularly secretive about whatever’s going on. I wonder
“Elizabeth
Liz looked up to find Delia glaring
at her—not in a particularly harsh way, but stern enough that Liz knew she
meant business. Quickly, Liz shut her leather-bound
journal and put it and her pen back into her bag.
Delia didn’t see any of this. She seemed to know that Liz would do as told,
because immediately after telling off Liz, she returned to staring out the
front windshield of Sandra’s car. Delia
was right, of course. Liz would always
do as told. She liked both Delia and
Sandra—they were her friends, after all—but she had absolutely no desire to
cross them. She had the feeling that
they wouldn’t be quite as friendly if she and Morgan didn’t obey.
The car pulled into the church
colony parking lot and the four girls got out.
Sandra took Liz’s arm and led her into the building.
“You’re not wearing a watch, are
you?” she asked, glancing down at Liz’s wrist.
Even if Liz was wearing a watch, Sandra wouldn’t be able to see it
because of the long sleeves of Liz’s dark sweater.
Liz shook her head. “Pastor Simon says watches are unimportant;
an invention of the outsiders. He tells
us to listen to First Peter, chapter one, verse fourteen: ‘As obedient children,
not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts of your ignorance.’”
Sandra gave Liz an approving
smile. “You’ve been doing you’re
studies, Elizabeth
This made Liz smile as well. Whenever Pastor Simon was pleased with her,
she felt right, like she was getting the approval of a parent. She clutched her Rose notebook and her Rose
Bible to her chest, having left her bag and journal in the car. Her Rose Bible, over the last month, had
accumulated a multitude of ribbons.
These ribbons were marking the pages and passages that Pastor Simon and
Sandra had assigned Liz and the rest of the new members to memorize and
understand.
The meeting was being held in the
same room as all their other seminars, the same room that they’d been baptized
in. Pastor Jeffrey stood at the front of
the room as the group entered. Liz,
Sandra, Morgan, and Delia found some space in the middle of the room and
settled down on the floor. Liz looked
behind her and saw Derek. She waved, but
before he could respond, Sandra had gripped her arm and turned Liz back around
to the front.
“Welcome, Children,” Pastor Jeffrey
said as the last people settled down.
“Tonight is our first youth meeting.
This is the first time the newly baptized are having a lesson with some
of the members who have been with us longer. This is an important time, the integrating of
new and old. You are the future of our
church. For, as is said in First
Timothy, chapter four, verse twelve: ‘Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou
an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit,
in faith, in purity.’ This is why it is
important for the youth of our family to meet together.”
The older members nodded. The newly baptized looked about awkwardly,
unsure of what to do.
“In order for us to better
demonstrate and be prepared to share with others the one true way to God, we
must be open to each other with our faults.
One by one, each member will stand and admit his or her sins from the
last week. ‘Confess your faults one to
another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent
prayer of a righteous man availeth much,’ James, chapter five, verse
sixteen.” Pastor Jeffrey pointed at the
member closest to him. “Abigail, please
stand up and confess your sins to the group.”
Shyly, Abigail stood. Liz noted that the girl was also a new member
who looked slightly younger than herself.
Looking down at her shoes and her face turning redder by the second,
Abigail said, quite softly, “Um…I yelled at my brother, I didn’t pray a couple
nights ago…I accidentally drank regular milk…I cursed.” She paused, looked awkwardly up at Pastor
Jeffrey, and then mumbled, “That’s all I can think of.”
“Thank you, Abigail. Because you forgot to pray and you
disrespected God’s animals by drinking animal products, you must pray for an
extra two hours tonight after this meeting,” Pastor Jeffrey said. He then gave the girl a comforting smile, a
nod, and she sat down.
This pattern continued as each
person in the room stood in turn, confessed sins—everything from eating animal
products to taking the Lord’s name in vain—and was assigned by Pastor Jeffrey
some sort of repentance. Most were
assigned more hours of prayer, some were instructed to read a certain number of
chapters from their Bibles, and others were told to perform acts of charity
around the colony before and after worship services. As more people stood and listed their sins,
Liz became more nervous. She watched as
the number of people in front of her in the room dwindled—the less people in
front of her, the closer she was to having to stand and confess sins that she
couldn’t even think of at this point.
She tried frantically to think of something, anything, to confess. Liz didn’t want to be the only one who didn’t
have anything to say. No one would believe
her. No one was perfect and every single
person in this room knew that. Everyone
had something to confess.
Before long, Morgan was standing,
shaking, and saying, “I fell asleep while praying, I disobeyed my parents, I
forgot to read my verse assignments from last week, and…I considered not coming
to worship on Wednesday because I had a test to study for.”
Pastor Jeffrey shook his head in
disappointment. “On one hand, it’s good
that your conscience told you to come to worship after all. On the other, however, it is shameful that
you thought homework was more important than your eternal soul.” Morgan looked down at the floor. “Which is more important, Morgan—grades that
will be significant for a couple years or where you will spend eternity?”
“Where I will spend eternity,”
Morgan whispered.
“Correct. For this transgression in particular, you
will meet with your Rose Angel for extra Bible studies and confessionals at
least three times next week. Delia will
report to both myself and Pastor Simon on your progress. For falling asleep while praying and not
reading your verse assignments, however, you are to do an extra five hours of
prayer over the next two days. Understand?”
Morgan nodded, her ears turning
red. She sat down again and deliberately
avoided Delia’s disappointed gaze.
Liz was so distracted by how harshly
Morgan was being punished that she didn’t realize that she was next in line
until Sandra nudged her harshly in the side.
“Elizabeth
Quickly, Liz stood up and
immediately felt her face start turning red.
“Well…uh…I fell asleep while praying…I yelled at my siblings…I seriously
considered applying somewhere other than Drighton. I cursed.
I…I think that’s all.”
Pastor Jeffrey shook his head. “As many of you have seen, falling asleep
during prayer has been a common sin of our new members. This shows lack of focus and commitment. Elizabeth, because of both falling asleep and
not trusting your brother and sister Children in their belief of your growth at
the Drighton colony, you are assigned ten extra hours of prayer over the next
two days. You will report these times
directly to your Rose Angel, so she knows you have fulfilled this assignment. If you have not, she will know, and she will
assign you more hours.”
Liz nodded and sat back down. For the next several confessions, she was
only partly paying attention, desperately trying to get over her own
embarrassment and shame. It wasn’t until
it was Derek’s turn that she paid full attention.
He stood up and announced, while
staring at some point on the wall above Pastor Jeffrey’s head, “I didn’t pray a
couple nights, I yelled at my mom, and…”
He looked directly at Liz. “I’ve
had doubts…about the Children.”
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